Northwest Missourian

Issue date: 11/20/08 Section: PS

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'Charlie Bit My Finger - Again!'
This is absolutely numero uno, my friends. There are two kids sitting on a chair, they are obviously brothers. The older kid sticks his finger into the baby's mouth, and the baby immediately bites it. The older one proceeds to explain what just happened. At first he sounds like Forrest Gump when he says "Charlie bit me," but then you realize the kid is British. The accent really brings out the pain of the word "ouch." The video has more than 60 million views, and it's funny every time.

'Bad Dating Videos!!'
Nothing can be said besides "wow." It might not be so easy to think that these are real people actually saying this stuff on camera, but how could you make it up? The video is full of dorky people trying to find love. But when you hear what they say about themselves, they become even more undesirable. It's ridiculous, and if people like this are actually out there, things are worse than I thought.

'Roofball'
This is the mother of all sports. The people in this one basically play hackey-sack with a soccer ball. The amazing part is they play 50 yards or so away from each other. They do flips and kicks, it's amazing. There is even a scene with two guys standing on two different rooftops and kicking the ball back and forth. Sounds dangerous, but I think they could be called professionals.

'He Kicked Him in the Penis'
Yeah, I said it, and so does a little kid. But it's innocent. He's telling a story about seeing a movie where someone gets kicked in the groin, and in my opinion he could have said something worse. This video is from a commercial for Trigon Blue Cross/Blue Shield Insurance. I don't know if it ever actually aired, but this kid would have me sold. It takes him awhile to get to it, then he comes out and says what he saw. It's hilarious.

'Kassie Kicks Monster's Ass'
A little girl named Kassie is worried about monsters coming out of a movie and hurting her. She does have a plan though, and that is the element of surprise and striking first. Don't worry about those cartoons as long as she is in the house. You can hear a woman laughing hysterically in the background while seeing confusion on Kassie's face. She isn't quite sure what is so funny. At the end the woman corrects her, telling her she should say "butt" instead. Great parenting.

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